How should Women Ensure that They are Heard in Virtual Meetings?

A thousand comebacks! Susan thought of a thousand responses she could have come back with, when her voice was utterly dismissed.

Every-time something like this happened, where her voice and her view-points were ignored in larger group meetings, she replayed the scenario in her head and tried winning it with her arguments.

But winning in the head is a lot different than playing on the field.

Susan represents a large percentage of women who struggle to get their word in.

Research shows that 45% of female leaders attest that “it’s difficult for women to speak up in virtual meetings.” This observation has been agreed to by 42% of male leaders.

The problem is not just the existence of conscious and unconscious bias. It is also that we are too aware and too cautious of the problem, with no structured mechanisms or culture to address it.

As a result, we are extremely wary of how we come across in meetings. And the pressure to sound smart just adds up to the flames.

It’s a challenge to speak up and an even bigger challenge to ensure that we are heard.

Contrary to the expectations of social researchers who thought virtual meetings may serve as an equalizer, they have only accrued to this cultural issue. 

I am sharing a few practical tips that we can adopt and ensure that we are heard. To ensure that our voices are not overshadowed, our views are not interrupted.

And that we are not perceived as too emotional and fragile for our passionate opinions.

Here are a few tips that may help you the next time you attend a MS teams or Zoom call -

1. Establish your presence by being present.

If you want people to listen to you, make sure they see you. Adhere to the basics of virtual meeting etiquette.

• First things first, keep your camera on. Doesn’t matter if others have turned it off for themselves. More opportunity for you to not be ignored.

• Make sure the camera lens is at eye level or slightly above eye level. Place it against the source of light.

• Dress for the part and the impression you are trying to make – confident, professional, assertive.

2. Do not schedule back to back online calls. Join before the scheduled time. Stay till the end.

I know someone who is a great conversationalist but has massive stage fright. So, when he has to speak at leadership forums, he reaches before time. I asked him during one such event, “Why were you here even before the presenters had arrived?” He said, “I need to form a bond with the stage.

As I arrive early, I get comfortable with the stage, I connect with the podium, I share stories and laughs with the presenters and the facilitators. By the time it’s time for me to speak, I feel like I am in control and I belong here.” 

So, the second secret is to arrive early. Be comfortable with the camera, connect with other early joiners. If a call is scheduled at 11 a.m., join the session 5 minutes in advance. Generally, people are at least a few minutes late to calls. You can leverage this time lag. Virtual meetings have deprived us of picking up on non-verbal cues. And the constant gazing on online calls is quite intimidating.

Getting to know people, understanding their communication styles, and giving them a chance to understand you, will help you mark your presence.

Connect with the facilitator. Share some banter. May be let them know how excited you are about what you want to talk about.

3. Do not wait for official meetings to learn to make your point.

Women have waited very long to get a seat on the table. And yet the number is too small, especially as one goes up the corporate ladder.

The process itself is so draining that we have never focused on the aesthetics of conversations.

So, when we try to make a strong point and we are ignored, we don’t know what to do. We don’t want to risk coming across as too aggressive or too emotional. So, instead we keep quiet and do what Susan does. Why not practice conversations where it is comfortable, where the risk of being judged is less! May be with a friend or a confidant.

Try all types of comebacks, evaluate your own reactions and reactions of others. 

Be loud and clear. (Technology plays a big role here. Make sure your internet connectivity and mic are on your side!)

When someone interrupts you over virtual calls, here are a few ideas –

• “I am sorry, can you hold on to your thought for just one more minute. I am very excited to hear it, but I am not done yet.”

• “Hey, probably my mic went off for a minute. I was not done. If you don’t mind, can I resume?”

• “Am I audible, because I was cut-off in the middle of my point.”

Different ideas work in different scenarios, unless you try you won’t know. So, just make it a point to experiment and try again.

4. Focus on maximizing impact. Use sticky notes. Time your content. Make sure you know the agenda, you know the people who will be joining in, prepare cue cards of how to start and end your points. One of the biggest differences between virtual calls and face to face meetings is that virtual calls are not so easily extended on convenience. Everyone has limited time and a lot to say.

• become ware of the filler words you may be using : actually, probably, may be - drop those, and use 'definitive' words instead - I think, I believe, In my opinion...

• Start with why and summarize what you have said to be impactful.

5. Do unto others as you would be done by. You don'n need to make it a gender issue. It already is.

Focus on building on your strengths.

And here's a bonus tip : If you see that someone else is being interrupted, help them make their point.

Doing this will help people know what’s acceptable to you and what’s not, not as a woman, just as a leader.